Victory

So, the past week has brough quite a bit of triumph for me.

On Saturday, I drove up to Round Rock to celebrate Freyrfaxi with Red Oak. It was amazing and I am so glad I went up there. Having that feeling of reconnecting with my community was just awesome and very much needed. This was a great triumph for me in many ways, though. I drove all the way up there and all the way back. It was a very stressful experience. I think I am not fully aware of the true amount of highway anxiety I still have. Most of the time, I'm fine. I also have an enviably short commute to work that does not involve any highways. I do not have to face my fear. This weekend was really important because I proved to myself that it's okay to be on the highway. Yes, it's scary, but it's necessary. I have this huge part of my life that I'm going to miss out on if I don't face that fear and conquer it. I will not allow it to control my life. Yes, something absolutely terrible happened to me when I was in a car on the highway. Letting that event control me and make me afraid is not acceptable, though. It's not going to be fun driving on the next trip up there, but I think it will be easier.

My other huge accomplishment this week is that I have lost 2.2 more pounds on Weight Watchers! I am so happy. I have been working so hard toward this and I am really motivated to get it done. I have lost 15.6 lbs so far and I am not stopping. This week was won, but the war against my unhealthy lifestyle is not over. I have a lot of work to do and I'm looking forward to it. It's worth it.

Also, today is my parents' 25th wedding anniversary. I am very lucky to have parents who are still together and have a strong foundation for my siblings and I to look at and know that things can work out. Their marriage hasn't been easy, no marriage ever is, so I would definitely count that as a victory for them. It's a goal I hope to meet someday with someone worth the trouble.

Update

Well, it certainly has been a long time since I have updated my blog. My life lately has been equal parts crazy and busy. I don’t mind it too terribly much, though. I have a new job, which I seem to enjoy to a certain extent. It’s not something I’m very passionate about, but it pays the bills and allows me to have weekends off, which is really nice. I have a good structure and I find I really needed that in the darkness after the accident. The only problem I have with this new schedule is the lack of time I can devote to school. That should be relatively easy to circumvent come Spring. I have not enrolled for Fall. Part of the reasoning is that I need to settle down for a little bit, the other is that ACCD has refused to acknowledge the fact that I have paid for last semester’s tuition, even though it was cut considerably short due to the accident, so I have a hold on my account. Their offices are a bit busy with the beginning of the semester and I don’t have extra time during the day to spend hours on hold, so I’m planning to make good use of the phone and call them to complain and get it removed in a few weeks once everything has calmed down.

I’ve been working diligently on the Yggdrasil Afghan. I am nearly finished with the center cable panel. Everyone says that it is beautiful, but I am quick to admit that it’s my first real cable project and I definitely need more practice with it to make it as nice as I want it to be. The good thing is that there are two other marriages in our Fellowship coming up, so I have plenty of practice with this particular blanket in the future. I may decide to make something else, but it’s a nice gift and when else will I have an audience that will appreciate the meaning behind the design? Exactly. I have not been having issues with it, really, except for the result of knitting while approximately 68% asleep on Liz’s couch. It was not quite catastrophic, though. I had to rip back a row and figure out why half of the sides of the blanket had two extra stitches on them. It wasn’t too bad, though. I am most definitely surprised at how well it is turning out thus far. I am also a bit terrified because I would say I am less than halfway through the first of three one pound skeins of yarn and I have an entire section left after this one is complete. 

I will eventually move on to working on something else, though. I need to get started on gifts for Yule. Dax wants arm warmers, though I’m testing the waters and hoping he forgets about that before October. I’m considering making him a zig zag blanket. I am not at all sure what to decide as far as colors, but that will be relatively easy to decide later on. I’ll probably do something that would easily coordinate with his bedroom décor, since I have the feeling that’s where he will be using it the most.

Andrea is going to be receiving either a nice star afghan made of bulky, fluffy yarn or a pair of socks with the butterfly lace pattern on them. I have some hot pink yarn floating around the house somewhere and I know she would enjoy the socks, besides she is the only human being that comes to mind when I thin of that sock yarn. The star afghan is a really fun project, though, and I am not sure I want to devote much thinking to the project with everyone needing gifts. Maybe I will make the socks after Yule, since her birthday is in late January.

I need to find the pattern for a cowl for grandma. She gave it to me, but I lost it. She also bought me the yarn for it for last Christmas and I haven’t gotten around to it quite yet. At least I still know where that is. I also do like the color of the yarn; it’s a very coral pink sort of color that suits her very well. I still need to get size 19 circular needles for that project. It’s a bit irksome; I would have to make several of those cowls in order to really have earned the use of the needles. They’re utterly huge and impractical. Maybe I’ll RAK them to someone on Ravelry later on down the road. I see absolutely no use for them other than this particular cowl pattern.

I have not decided what I am going to do for my parents. My mother has been asking about a scarf that is combined with a hood for quite some time, so I’m probably going to buckle down and go find a pattern for that. My father is impossible, though. I have no idea what to do for him. I was thinking maybe some good, thick socks that go with his uniform since he has to work in all kinds of weather conditions. Only time will tell on that, though.

I am hoping to finish the blanket I started for Aiden when his mother was still pregnant with him. I probably won’t get around to that one anytime soon and it hardly matters since they don’t celebrate any sort of holiday, as it is. I can just finish it up and give it to him whenever it is done. It has been on the needles for three years and it bothers me. I need to finish it. At this point I’m considering ripping it out and making him a toddler blanket, since the original was stupidly decorative and the correct size for an infant, not a two-year-old. I will probably end up doing exactly that in some primary colors. Maybe start something completely different and out of my current realm of experience for him. The only thing I can really think of that would be good for that is color work, but I have never been a huge fan since it seems that most of the finished objects are not reversible. I’m sure I can get some good ideas on Ravelry. It just takes some pattern searching.

I really can’t decide what to do for several friends. I’ll probably think of something, it just takes some time.

With Borders going out of business, I have picked up a rather extensive addition to my library. Mostly Scandinavian history books, sagas, etc. I have not had much time to really get into them yet, so I’m afraid I don’t have too terribly much to say at this juncture. I will, though! There are many interesting books sitting in that bag and I want to get to them.

So, what else have I been doing lately? I have joined Weight Watchers. I finally realized that it was something I need to do. I have quite a large amount of weight to lose and I am very determined. There are all sorts of things I’ve realized that I have been missing out on and for what? Laziness, basically. I have been doing well with the program. I joined on July 16^th and have lost 13.4 pounds so far. I weighed in today and have lost 2.2 pounds in the past week. I'm feeling very encouraged and hopeful, so we'll see how it goes. 

I'm going to try to update this blog regularly to track how my life is going and share the things I find useful as I go along.